I admit I’m a bit of a grammar geek. So you would think after a lifetime of speaking and reading the English language, plus writing and editing professionally, I would have it figured out, but I still make a load of mistakes, and I’m still learning. Knowing this, I hesitate to point out the grammar goofs I hear everyday, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. So for my first Editor’s Corner post, I bring a common mistake to the floor.
There seems to be a lot of confusion about when to use “I” and “myself” vs. “me” both in conversation and in professional written communications. I hear I and myself being used instead of me all the time, from the most highly educated and intelligent people I know. Before you comment that it really doesn’t matter, I realize that in casual conversation or a quick text, few will care, but I do think that when you’re trying to communicate professionally, it’s a good idea to get it right.
It seems that many native English speakers are hesitant to use the word “me” in a sentence. I’m not sure how the word “me” attained it’s lowly status as a word to be avoided. Perhaps we think that using I or myself sounds more professional or sophisticated. In reality, often it’s just plain wrong.
Here’s just one example of a “goof” that I heard recently: “Are you joining Bill and I for dinner?”
What’s wrong with this? I’m no English teacher, but I’m pretty sure that the pronoun I is to be used as a subject, not an object. The good news is you don’t have to know the difference between a subject and object pronoun. There’s a simple way to get it right without breaking out your grammar guide.
Before you use I in a sentence like this, try omitting the “Bill and” and listen to how that sounds. Would you say “He’s joining I for dinner?” Probably not. That’s when you know that the pronoun me would be the better choice.
This trick also works for determining when to use I instead of me.
“Jane and me are working together on a school project.” Take Jane out of the picture and you get something like “Me am working on a project.” Doesn’t sound so hot, does it? That’s a clue that using I here would be a better choice.
Now let’s look at the word myself and some of the ways people mistakenly use it. Again, it seems as though people are avoiding using the word me. While using myself versus me will get you more points in scrabble (14 vs. 4!), sometimes it’s the wrong choice in conversation or writing. Here are a couple examples:
“Please bring the paper to Dave or myself.” or “Ann made dinner for Joe and myself.” In these sentences, myself should be replaced by me.
I had to look this one up, though, as I know it’s wrong when I hear it, but I couldn’t explain (grammatically) why. My go-to reference for these questions is often Grammar Girl website, and I found a perfect explanation in her post on reflexive pronouns.
As a reflexive pronoun, myself reflects back on the subject of the sentence. Myself is correctly used in a sentence like “I’m going to go by myself.” or “I’m going to give myself more time to relax.”
Hope this helps someone. By the way, I welcome you—no, I urge you to point out my grammar goofs and help me get it right. Thank you for your help!
Cheers!
Stacey